He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize