The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
