Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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