She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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