Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
