At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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