just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
