Kiss
Puke
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
