How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
