I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
