if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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