My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
