he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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