I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
