david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
