Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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