Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
