so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
