Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
