so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize