first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
