last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize