shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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