we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.