he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
