I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?