Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.