My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work