The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
