Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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