garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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