My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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