We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
