I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
