My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
