I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize