dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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