You really coming over, don't trick.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
smell my finger.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
