we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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