Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
