yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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