Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
