I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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