I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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