My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
