ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
