I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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