you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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