I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
