I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The dick lei will go down in squad history
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
