what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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