What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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