I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
