I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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