she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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