dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
