gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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