we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
