I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
