She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
