She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
