I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
