I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
