just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
