not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
