i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
