I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
