sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
