what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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