i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I could make wine with my vomit
two words...techno handjob
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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