Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
