I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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