You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
