FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
