Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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